I was reading my book on the train on the way to work today, Remote Control by the British author (and ex-SAS soldier) Andy McNab, and came across a line that made me laugh. It wasn’t just any laugh though, but a sudden outburst, the kind that makes you look like the special autistic child or some kind of greasy pervert, the kind that directs eyes toward you. Hundred’s of the beady little f$%kers.
I should prefix this with a bit of background, after about thirty or forty pages of the authors build up to an action scene, the main character, Nick Stone, describes in detail how stealth is the key to any subtle operation. He describes in full the surveillance required in the stake out, and how each part of the target (IRA headquarters) was broken into without extreme force. This goes on, and on, and as you’d expect thing’s eventually go hay wire as Stone is discovered and is seconds away from death via handgun down his throat after being taken out by a fire extinguisher to the back of the head.
By this point, I’m engrossed, the build up was enormous, and I’m literally hanging off the end of my seat wondering what on Earth is going to happen next. There’s a small scuffle and Stone jams the gun, temporarily disabling it and a scuffle breaks out eventually resulting in the enemy being shot in the head.
This was followed by:
“He was going to die soon.
Tough Shit.”
It’s a pillow, what a horrible prank!
In hindsight it doesn’t seem anywhere near as funny, but it blew me away at the time. After such an enourmous build up with everything and every moment described in such precious detail, the climax was abrupt, like a kick in the guts. I have to liken this to getting amazing sex, mind blowing passion with the ultimate build up:
"mmmm...."
"ah..."
"MMMMmmmmm yea!"
"Oh. Job's done"
"Yea, would you like a cup of tea?"
I’d half expected another ten pages describing the blood as it made its passage from the chest driven by the last few beats of the heart, up the arteries, and out the convinient new escape vent in the head. But no.. He was dead, and that was it.
Bloody good book though, both Andy McNab books I’ve read so far have been an excellent read, which makes them incredibly hard to put down.
