So amidst all the stress about money, and pressure to get stuff ready for the trip to Russia, I’d almost completely forgotten about our four day trip back down to Cornwall again.  Although I’ve now seen it several times before, its sure to be a fun relaxing weekend with some sunshine, good company and of course good liquor.

Going down there as a foursome should be interested, just like old times again.  It has its advantages too, I wasn’t there to pick up the hire car, which means I don’t have to drive.  This is a good and a bad thing, bad because I desperately want to drive an automobile again (even if it is a four door Focus), but good because I’ll compensate by drinking, and catching up on some further reading of a new book or Arrested Development episodes.  I swear, this show gets better every time I watch it.

I’ve taken it upon myself to come up with a challenge for this extended weekend, but this challenge won’t involve the best sub £1,000 replacement vehicle for a UK Police Astra Diesel (ala the latest episode of Top Gear). I’m going to attempt to try every Cornish beer I can find, and write a small set of notes on each, The Great Cornish Beer Review.  This will involve going over my favourites from previous trips down to the foot, such as:

• Tribute Ale - A deliciously smooth brown ale, continuously drinkable all night, available in both Oxford, and the Twickenham Tup (20m from our front door), plus probably many other locations around London.  (Warning: ghastly when warm).
• Sharps Doom Bar - If I remember correctly, this bitter had a deceivingly strong taste to it, not that it’s in anyway a low alcohol beer.

The hardest thing about this of course is, despite my vast vocabulary (riiight), I have a pallete about as sensitive as the calloused palms of a full time grave digger.  Indeed, I think the words are in there, but picking the taste of raspberries from a 20 year old bottle of Shiraz doesn’t come to me naturally, at least not without reading the label.  I know what i like, but why I like Guinness, Tribute, Victoria Bitter and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale even though they’re vastly different types of beer, I don’t really understand.

We’ll see how that goes, anyway.

Hi all, just thought I’d report in to say that since its inception the proud tradition of Guiness Thursday is going strong. Every week has seen at least 3 of us from work at lunchtime down the at pub, consuming at least a couple of pints.  It’s only been 5 weeks, but I can see this growing into a bustling little social club, as well as a healthy way to start the afternoon and a great way of life.

Who would believe that these great minds could accomplish so much?

GT is, however, different that your normal whip-lash shoe-horn religion, there’s no rules, no commandments, and the only messiah is a black coloured liquid from Ireland.  Whilst there are no leaders, the word needs to be spread, for this is the job of the Guiness Thursday Spokesmen.  But, not wanting to sound cheesy, there’s a bit of GT spokesman in all of us.  So spread the word, join the force.On a side note, my boss, being the competitive type that he is, suggested a sort of Sporting Gala, a Guiness Olympics if you will.  It consists (but is in no way limited to):

• The Sprint (skol, scull or down) - The Speed Event:-

• First person to the bottom of a full ping of guiness is declared the winner
• Default can be given if the winner has lost more than 20% of said pint on shirt/floor
• Care should be taken to spot a cheat, though unfortunately (I’m not so lucky) the straight neck open throat pour is allowable, spillage rules still apply

• The Marathon - An Endurance Event:-
  • Speed is not an issue here, its all about slow and steady
  • Pick a time period, and count pints until the end of the event/evening
  • Most drinks under the belt wins
  • In the interest of competitors safety the GOC (Guiness Olympic Committee) takes no responsibility for injuries occuring after the 15th pint
• The Triathlon/…/Decathlon - The Skill Event:-
  • This event can consist of any number of stages, but usually comprises of both a sprint, a marathon, and the special event
  • The special event can be anything (in keeping with the Guiness tradition, an Irish Whiskey is preferred here)

I shall post results of the olympics, and we’ll see how the Aussies stand up against our English and North American counterparts, I expect it to be a whitewash.

A possible event? I think so

Not often does such genius strike a person on the midst of a Wednesday afternoon, I might even say it may have been my Eureka moment. I invented Guiness Thursday, a day that exceeds all other named days, including Good Friday, Easter Monday and others such as Ash Wednesday, which until today I believed was named because of the bushfires that spread accross Victoria, Australia on Wednesday, Feb 16^th 1983. What irony.

I must jump back in time for a bit, to Wednesday night, as I excitedly rushed home after my moment of revelation, to make sure said idea was indeed as original and ingenious as I thought it was. A quick google search, left me slightly shattered, as it returned four results, but I was happy to discover that whilst the term had been phrased before, it definitely didn’t appear to be in common usage. And everyone knows the first and foremost rule of just about anything, and thats if you like an idea, copy it and make it ten times better. So I did, and on we go.

Guiness Thursday is a momentous occasion, as it doesn’t attempt to rival any of these religious holidays for importance, but attempts to enrich them, forming a union in which pleasure time can be enhanced by grouping said days together, whereever possible. Every Thursday, I will endevour to enforce a strict Guiness policy for myself and my collegues and anyone else who’ll join.

This shall bring enjoyment for all who believe in the new way. And certain times of the year we will benefit greatly from its creation. Take Easter Week for instance, usually we have Good Friday thru Easter Monday off work. With Guiness Thursday, we’ll have an even better Easter Weekend, with a classy lead up to the festive period with a Thursday afternoon of several pints of Ireland’s finest. In fact, and I don’t mean to offend anyone here, in a few hundred years the meaning of the Easter weekend may well just change, in that Good Friday is good for the fact we enjoyed Guiness Thursday so much.

You see, Guiness Thursday is not just a childish notion, nor is it a passing phase. It’s an ideal, and aims to make everyones Post-humpday just that much better, for the improvement of man-kind.

Please, join me, and post stories of your Guiness Thursday exploits. I’m interested in feedback of all kinds.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYMoz0zdag[/youtube]

Writings been a little slow this last three or so days, I haven’t felt the creative juices flow, and quite frankly I couldn’t think of anything to write. This lack of imagination, creativity and motivation toward the cause has left me in despair, a serious need to speak my mind, which contains nothing. In the immortal words of Peter (yes, that one), “Wait! Wait! (I’m just thinking up another story)”

To cure the drought, and appease my ever increasing Google guests I shall fill in this gap. Shock horror, I’m now at almost 50 hits a day, and my pagerank is about as high as Michael Jackson is beautiful, Google, MSN, and BBC.com watch out, because HD911’s coming right at ya. Now if only I had a pull, or witty attraction like I can has Cheezburgers cats.

The Camelbak , bush survival, or just convenient beer?

Anyway, I introduce to you the beer belly. The greatest invention since the Camelbak, perhaps even better as it serves two purposes, two allow rehydration with no hands required, neither to drink, or carry it, and it show’s off one of mans greatest acheivements. The BeerBelly. And for the similiar minded female (or weirdly perverse male), there’s the WineRack, a drink holder that when full will turn your flat chest into C Cups, or your D’s into G’s. The beauty about the whole idea of course? You’re replacing two fatty organs, with a fat-inducing liquid of your choice, though it should be beer. If not beer, then Tucker Max Death Mix (great site, the mans a comedian), consisting of “750 ml Everclear® alcohol, 32 oz Gatorade® energy drink and 2 cans Red Bull® energy drink“.

This otherwise petite lady is packing so much punch, she’s bursting at the seams. “Thanks WineRack”, shouts one reader

Whilst suprisingly unflattering in the flesh, under a shirt or wife beater, you’ll be guaranteed to look the goods.

Now, considering how narky airlines are about the 100ml rule, and about packages strapped to chests and stomach, I will give £100 to the first person who can prove they wore one, filled with the liquid of their choice, through customs. Just for trying, your more then welcome to reap the benefits of your crime on the plane ride over.