Not since seeing Juno about a year ago have I seen a movie quite like The Happening, and that is in no way a good thing.  But I’m being unnessecarily negative toward Juno, it wasn’t terrible, but given the hype it received both pre and post release, and its subsequent Oscar award surprised me greatly.  It just really wasn’t that good.  So I’m going to reword the first line of this post again, much more accurately this time.

Not since seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull a week ago have I seen a movie quite as bad as The Happening.  In fact, I didn’t see another movie in between the time I saw these two, and thats not giving me any confidence in the quality of new releases in 2008.  Usually, I can appreciate a low budget movie, when executed well these movies are just as good as any other, Clerks, Napolean Dynamite and even The Blair Witch Project come to mind here.

The happening just felt, looked, smelt, no stank of an extremely low budget film, but at $57 million, it must have either been made in Zimbabwe, or someone knows how to do a very tacky (relatively) high budget film in a completely low budget way.

The Story

The movie starts off with a suspected terrorist attack in Central Park in New York which mysteriously causes people to speak in tongues, walk backwards, and then find the quickest way of killing themselves, all whilst under a trance.  Within a few hours, the citizens of the North Eastern states are hurredly evacuating all the major cities, only to get knocked down like flies to this killer toxin.  Naturally, as the movie goes on, the main character discovers it’s plants who are emitting the toxin, and large packs of human beings were somehow setting off the plants.

People die, in fact pretty much everyone dies within about 5 states of New York (I’m going to estimate a quarter of the population of the U.S), but the main character, his disfunctional girlfriend, and their newly acquired daughter (due to loss of her parents) survive by talking nicely to plants, eating hotdogs, lieing low in a house with a crazy woman and making a final daring dash into the wilderness that had already taken so many.

I highlighted the silent killer in the paragraph above, just in case you missed it, that’s right, the killer was plants, and apart from some rather gruesome death scenes the film involved some rather B-grade actors walking through North American bushland.

The Actor

There was something I didn’t mention before, and it could explain the rather high budget for this bottom of the barrel film.  That is the main actor in The Happening is Mark Wahlberg, whom apart from his 14-inch penis in Boogie Nights and some solid performances in The Departed and The Big Hit, is a horrible excuse for a “holywood” actor.  I’m sure someone else could have played the part far more convincingly at about half the cost as well.

Worst of all, the film is written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, whom I know nothing about, and don’t know any of his/her past work either, but from what others have said this film was definitely not Shyamalan’s best.

I don’t know what else to say, and I don’t usually bother commenting on movies, what could I possibly say that someone else hasn’t said before?  But when its this bad, it has to be spoken of.  The Happening, really was this bad!

Update:

I’ve just received a reply from another poster who has a blog, The Not Happening at http://thenothappening.blogspot.com/. I can’t believe just how much of a negatively following this movie has, staged walkouts.  Who knows, it may even go down as a cult classic.  Kudos!

So amidst all the stress about money, and pressure to get stuff ready for the trip to Russia, I’d almost completely forgotten about our four day trip back down to Cornwall again.  Although I’ve now seen it several times before, its sure to be a fun relaxing weekend with some sunshine, good company and of course good liquor.

Going down there as a foursome should be interested, just like old times again.  It has its advantages too, I wasn’t there to pick up the hire car, which means I don’t have to drive.  This is a good and a bad thing, bad because I desperately want to drive an automobile again (even if it is a four door Focus), but good because I’ll compensate by drinking, and catching up on some further reading of a new book or Arrested Development episodes.  I swear, this show gets better every time I watch it.

I’ve taken it upon myself to come up with a challenge for this extended weekend, but this challenge won’t involve the best sub £1,000 replacement vehicle for a UK Police Astra Diesel (ala the latest episode of Top Gear). I’m going to attempt to try every Cornish beer I can find, and write a small set of notes on each, The Great Cornish Beer Review.  This will involve going over my favourites from previous trips down to the foot, such as:

• Tribute Ale - A deliciously smooth brown ale, continuously drinkable all night, available in both Oxford, and the Twickenham Tup (20m from our front door), plus probably many other locations around London.  (Warning: ghastly when warm).
• Sharps Doom Bar - If I remember correctly, this bitter had a deceivingly strong taste to it, not that it’s in anyway a low alcohol beer.

The hardest thing about this of course is, despite my vast vocabulary (riiight), I have a pallete about as sensitive as the calloused palms of a full time grave digger.  Indeed, I think the words are in there, but picking the taste of raspberries from a 20 year old bottle of Shiraz doesn’t come to me naturally, at least not without reading the label.  I know what i like, but why I like Guinness, Tribute, Victoria Bitter and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale even though they’re vastly different types of beer, I don’t really understand.

We’ll see how that goes, anyway.

Россия, здесь мы приезжаем! (Russia, Here we come!)

In just less than 12 weeks, I’ll be drinking Vodka (and eating Caviar apparently), in a Russian tour group, over the course of 7 days from St. Petersburg, through Novgorod and finally to Moscow.  I’m sure it’ll be great, and I’ve been checking the weather for Moscow recently, and they’ve been enjoying 21º Celsius temperatures, which may even be warm enough for shorts.  But we’ll see.  One thing I’ve learnt about the world (in my vast travels), is that the brisk 15-18º (almost sweater weather) in Australia is perfectly fine for shorts and a T-shirt in the UK.  Going by this logic, I’m going to stock up on thongs (no, not flip-flops), as I might just enjoy it.

When in Russia, I guess!

The tour we’re going on is the Vodka Caviar 2008 tour run by Top Deck Tours, which seems to be jam packed with included food, outings and theatre/circus tickets, though it’d definitely want to be for the cost.  But, all in all, it looks to be great fun, and I’m looking forward to seeing parts of the former Soviet machine.

We’ll be travelling around in a “modern air-conditioned bus”, and the group usually consists of about 20 people (of which 16 I’m expecting to be Brits).  I’m hoping for a fun piss-up, but I hope its not like all these Contiki Tours I’ve heard about friends doing over the years, I think I’m getting too old (hell, I am 25 now). Soft, I know!

The last thing we had to do in preparation for the trip was get the Visa organised, which as always was an annoying process (the two visa applications and postage cost (just over £40) almost £150, but amazingly enough, the website told me we’d have the passports back on the 20th of June, what do you know, they turned up on Friday night.  Perfect timing.  A little too perfect perhaps.

Shannon looks around suspiciously…..Шпионы, они всегда наблюдают

Similar, except mines got a hologram (how very 2008)

I needed to send a friend an SMS back home (Australia) the other day, and my phone had run out of batteries, again, though I did forget to charge it the night before.  That was when I remembered Web2Msg.com, which allows you to send free SMS messages to any Australian mobile phone (or cell, if you roll like that).  The best thing is, there’s no signups required, no annoying popups, and no forced advertising in the sent messages.

So, if you’re a bum, and you can’t afford a mobile phone battery, or credit for your prepaid phone, give it a go!  And best of all, it’s a feat of .NET programming.

Nothings completely perfect, and there’s not enough information out there on the failings of most products, and this is no exception.  It still has no sway on my decision that at present it is the coolest phone that reasonable money can buy.

As anyone knows from my previous posts on the Nokia N95 8GB, I have an awesome amount of respect for this phone and its older brother the Vanilla N95.  It’s the perfect travel companion in regards to email, light web browsing, GPS/Mapping and a nifty little media player, in the case that a small laptop (or a pretty much immobile 17″ one for that matter) is too cumbersome to carry around.

Gman - Dark Side

But I musn’t go on, I’ve repeated myself enough already.  So on to the point of this post, you see, it has a dark side.  A few of them actually, Possibly not as major as the iPhone missing 3G support (until late July, anyway), or the NASA rocket, which was programmed for calculations in Miles, but data entered in metrics, but it has a down point.

I’ve found that no-one really talks about the N95’s points, the review sites are too concerned with the quality of the camera, or that it has thirty one and a quarter more features than the equivalent Sony Ericcson, Samsung or LG device.  And often if you search for what I would consider issues, you’ll find a small forum thread with two or three people discussing the problem, its just not heavily publicised.  So here’s my attempt to keep it real, level the playing field if you will.

The Major - Data Transfer Speed

The transfer speed to/from the N95 is nothing short of horrendous.  In this day and age of flash and other storage devices which can read up to (and in excess of), 50-100MB/s, the data transfer to the fixed flash card is a pitiful 500-600KB/s.  This wasn’t an issue when phones had 256 or 512MB free memory, as filling the device would still only take a few minutes.  Filling the full 8GB card takes the better part of three and a bit hours!

A faster data transfer medium

My 4GB iPod Nano has a file transfer speed of approximately 10-15MB/s a second, and I can fill its memory just under 10 minutes (not including the time it takes afterwards to level sound output and “determine gapless playback information”).  If Apple can get it right on a 2 year old, cheap as chips, consumer device, then why can’t Nokia achieve better than USB1 speeds on their “flagship” device?  I’ve been assured it is USB2, just not High speed (HS) ~480mbps.  Instead, we’re stuck with Full Speed (FS) which is marginally faster than the USB1 spec of 12mbps, Pitiful!

This probably wouldn’t bother most people as there might not be much of a need to be removing and replacing the data on the memory card often, but when you’re uploading movies, music and videos on a nightly basis this becomes a real pain.  This is the one thing I can see that might make the original N95 a better choice, as it has a removable memory card, so you can put it any old card reader in the hope that it may read/write faster.

Other

The rest of the bad points come as a direct result of comparing the N95 to the Apple iPhone.  That’s usability, and design, and interestingly enough battery life.  It really is just too complicated, sometimes just the easiest tasks can require 10-15 key presses.  Considering the keypad (not including the numeric keypad) consists of over 20 keys, you’d think there would be easy, fuid ways to accompolish simple tasks.

Nokia have included a lot of features in the phone that promote its use out in the open, such as using the web browser on a train, or walking/travelling with the GPS Maps app/Sports Tracker open.  In any form of glare or sunlight, this is a difficult task, often to the point where it gets too difficult and I’ll just give up.

Battery life has improved a lot since i did the latest firmware upgrade (I assume a permanently running process has been removed?!), but I still find on days of moderate to heavy use the phone can be dead before I get home to charge it!

A worthy competitor??

Considering the iPhone has a larger, more vibrant screen, and it still boasts almost double usable battery life and media playback/talk time, this is definitely something that might need a look in, in later models.

But as I said, nothings perfect, and trawling around the web shows that pretty much any product has its ups and downs, and the techy in me loves (almost) everything about this phone.  So no, I still wouldn’t trade it in for an iPhone, HTC (Windows Mobile) phone, Blackberry, or Cheeseburger phone despite their positives.  I just can’t help but think that it may have been a bad business decision letting these fundamental features slip, when they’re elsewhere in the market for a much cheaper price.

I’m not the kind of person who gets homesick, and I don’t really miss much about Perth, but sometimes I catch a smell, miss a taste, or see a photo which really brings it all back:

Perth, Australia by night

And, even in the year since I’ve been gone, Perth seems to have changed a fair bit now.  We now have a fifth, metro train line, which even has a section underground.  Definitely something to check out when in a little under a year when I get home for a holiday.  I’m sure it’ll be an enlightening experience.

Just like the 11pm train from Kings Cross

The Things I’d do if I was back in Perth :-

• See Family/Friends (of course)
• Drink up a storm at the Queens Hotel in Mt Lawley
• Eat Twisties
• Stock up on Aussie red wine, and Coopers Beer
• Get the best pizza in the world from Il Padrinos (The Pizza King) in Northbridge
• Take a weekend down south in Margaret River
• Ride the train

And that’s about it!

Home Sweet Home!

Remember the days of Winamp, that funky, light (~v2 anyway) little MP3 player? It was the ultimate accessory on every geeks tools belt, along with ICQ, mIRC, Netscape and possibly Eudora (though I never cared for it).  I remember it, very fondly, it was in my opinion responsible for bringing MP3 music to the masses, or at least to those geeky enough to have gone out looking for it.  It did, what every good music player should, and what many of todays media players faily miserably at (especially a certain Media Player that’s at ver 11).  Simplicity is what it did well, and at the time it worked fantastically.

Winamp v2 - Basic, like a crappy car stereo

Sonique media player was a funky upstart that was in development about the same time, which had a completely different approach to to the MP3 and media playing application.  It went outside the box, of what a normal application looked like with funky designs and skins that didn’t fit into the shape of a normal window, and if I remember correctly came standard with a host of plugins, visualisation and other addons.

Sonqiue’s interesting style

Now, to the point of my post!

I was talking to one of the guys at the office the other day, and it turns out he was one of the lead developers on the Sonique application and some of the plugins that came with it to produce oh so clear crystal sound.  He spoke of the hype surrounding the application, and the chance at millions when bought out by Lycos (I think??!), and subsequent downfall as the other competitors tried different/more successful things.

This proves basically nothing except that once again, the world is a tiny place, but oh well, I still think Winamp was the better player!

Off topic, but I still happen to have the original set of MP3’s I first managed to download all those years ago (digitally copied many times of course), but the tracks have managed to stay (embarrisingly) in the collection all these years and have kept their original script kiddie style filenames.  These include such greats as:

• John Denver’s, Thank God, I’m a country boy (aptly name Denv-ThankGod.mp3)
• various Smashing Pumpkins songs
• Paul Simon, You can call me Al
• Pink Floyd
• Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

and many more! Random!

It’s been a whlie since I posted an article on the N95, and thats not to say it’s falled out of favor, or I’m bored of it.  To tell you the truth, this truly amazing piece of portable technology, continues to enlighten me, and still I’m finding new things out every day.  A couple of months ago, in my previous post, I mentioned Nokia Sports Tracker, which at the time, was a buggy, horrible example of beta software.

That’s all changed though, Sports Tracker is now a powerful, bug-free (at least from what I’ve seen), exercise accompanyment which is a damn load of fun to use at the same time.  Broken down, it:

• use GPS to map speed/distance travelled on a map;
• allows you to set routes for commonly travelled paths, and records times for previous workouts so you can beat previous routes;
• includes a Step counter to approximate work done and energy consumed;
• updates progress, and live workout status online, updating the users profile (ala Facebook).

Nokia Sports Tracker Online

I’ve now completed the 3.5 mile walk from the office to Waterloo Station 10 times, and got my time down to 24 minutes, though I’m sure this could be a lot better if I wasn’t walking through peak hour traffic to get there.  And best of all, the GPS/live part still works jammed in my pocket.

A quick one, and not the best title I know.  But there’s been a noticeable increase of late in police numbers onthe streets around the office, and in tube/train stations on the way home.  Over the last fortnight, I’ve noticed at various times during the week there being at least 20 or 30 (and possibly many more on platforms and other lines) police officers putting in a presence at both Green Park station, Waterloo and Twickenham stations.

One of the guys at work was stopped randomly was searched (padded down, emptied bags, etc) under the terrorist act (can’t say No, basically), in Green Park station on the way home the other night, nothing came of it, of course.  And completely unrelated, but the police have closed off a lane outside the office and are searching cars too.  Though that’s probably licensing, more than anything.

A completely unrelated sign I spotted whilst on my way to the rugby on the weekend

It really makes me wonder though, since I’ve been here (especially since attempted car bombings in June* last year) there’s been an on/off police presence, which in a weird way I find oddly reassuring.  But it begs the question, “Why the sudden spikes in activity, and then nothing for a few days?”. Are these really just random, routine acts in a way that could make the public feel safer and feel like the government/metro police are doing something?  Or is there something more sinister going on?

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but suspicious one inside me notices an alarming difference between one police/security officer whom you may see at a stationi entrance or patrolling the street, and literally an army of officers stopping/searching/charging people as they go about they’re daily commute.

I still can’t help but think these stop and searches could be better conducted in the problem areas, not the terrorism problem, but the problem that is still gripping London, and thats youth gang stabbings and warfare.  I’d have to guess and say you’d be far more likely to find a butterfly knife on a dodgy looking youth in Brixton, than anything of Terrorist nature in the bag of an otherwise innocent Software developer in Mayfair.  Priorities!

But, in the end, we’ve just got to forget about it and get on with the task of getting home, god knows I’m not going to walk the whole distance.

I remember a few months ago, I thought to myself, it’s nice to have everything in a rythym (spelling?!).  The money was coming in, and more was being saved than I’d managed to the previous 24 years of my life, I was embarking on some exciting new work prospects, and I was writing on this page over twice a week.

What the hell happened?

Falling into a rythym, out of rythym

As I said, for a period (probably a lot shorter than I actually remember), I felt like I was getting things done, and working towards some goals.  The last 2 months has shattered this, and I’ve now managed to fall into a new rythym or being completely out of the previous beat I was following.  I shouldn’t blame myself too much, there’s been a lot of time consuming, money draining things going:

• the Wedding (enough said),
• the quasi HoneyMoon,
• the 3 different visits of different groups of family and friends, spanning now over the past 6 weeks; and
• the 4 holidays (of various lengths coming up to Paris, Southern England and of course Russia)

With all the interruptions, I’ve managed to lose a fantastic work oppurtunity (don’t ask, big project, stake in company, yada, yada….), eat and drink (badly) constantly and quite frankly waste a metric f$#kload of money.  And with things not paid for, such as the holidays I mentioned above, I can’t see any easy way out of immediate debt.

Planning…

So here I am, preaching to Google crawl bot (possibly this posts only audience, given its less than exciting nature), and getting my thoughts down on paper (we’ll call it, the interscroll), to come to a quick as possible solution to the problem.

I’ve spent the last hour updating the C&S Income/Expenditure budget (yet another thing, I’ve lost track of), and whilst things ain’t as glum as I thought they might be, it seems something has to give:

• stop on the spot purchases (easy, I’ll stop scouring internet shops in downtime at work)
• cut back on drinking/going out (should be fine, now that the visitors have moved on)
• borrow more money (read debt) from the bank, not a good idea.  The way things are going at the moment, I’m probably one of their favourite small-time customers.
• cut back on one of the holidays (kind of hard as it was booked months in advance (not with our money, at the time).

I find myself in the money pickle again, something I’m no stranger to.  I’m comfortable enough that I know I can be clear and mostly debt free again by say… September, but its the now that I can’t handle.

Completely off topic, but the book I’m reading at the moment, Tripwire (my 6th novel since April!), starts with a CEO of a faltering U.S electronics business going to a loan shark for a large loan.  In borrowing 1.1 million dollars, he falls into the trap of paying back a high interest rate, and giving a rather large proportion of his fledgling companies shares to the shark who sells them all instantly for nothing causing the banks to freak and dump his enourmous loans off on a large mortgage recovery operation (ftonted in the Cayman islands, by the loan shark himself).  This has nothing to do with my situation at all, but geez, show’s what debt and stupidity can do in times of desperation.

Recoupling on the rail to success….

I’ve got a 7 point plan to rectify this little situation of mine, firstly:

• enjoy the holiday to Russia, no point in stressing about that
• get all debts on the way to be being repaid by September 2008, this includes costs for the wedding, the previous personal loan, and credit card debt
• write at least two posts a week to HD911, content is the key
• continue reading novels, but branch out into some different authors, 4 books by one author (Lee Child) and 2 by another (Harlen Coben) is proving a little too much
• continue good things at the office
• get off my ass and get this work started and flowing again; and
• and keep exercising as much as possible, the 15 mile week (counted 4 trips from the office to Waterloo station (3.5miles) and smaller trips between work and Trafalgar Square) was a step in the right direction.

Let’s do this thing…. Yea!