My BeerBelly™
Writings been a little slow this last three or so days, I haven’t felt the creative juices flow, and quite frankly I couldn’t think of anything to write. This lack of imagination, creativity and motivation toward the cause has left me in despair, a serious need to speak my mind, which contains nothing. In the immortal words of Peter (yes, that one), “Wait! Wait! (I’m just thinking up another story)”
To cure the drought, and appease my ever increasing Google guests I shall fill in this gap. Shock horror, I’m now at almost 50 hits a day, and my pagerank is about as high as Michael Jackson is beautiful, Google, MSN, and BBC.com watch out, because HD911’s coming right at ya. Now if only I had a pull, or witty attraction like I can has Cheezburgers cats.
The Camelbak , bush survival, or just convenient beer?
Anyway, I introduce to you the beer belly. The greatest invention since the Camelbak, perhaps even better as it serves two purposes, two allow rehydration with no hands required, neither to drink, or carry it, and it show’s off one of mans greatest acheivements. The BeerBelly. And for the similiar minded female (or weirdly perverse male), there’s the WineRack, a drink holder that when full will turn your flat chest into C Cups, or your D’s into G’s. The beauty about the whole idea of course? You’re replacing two fatty organs, with a fat-inducing liquid of your choice, though it should be beer. If not beer, then Tucker Max Death Mix (great site, the mans a comedian), consisting of “750 ml Everclear® alcohol, 32 oz Gatorade® energy drink and 2 cans Red Bull® energy drink“.
This otherwise petite lady is packing so much punch, she’s bursting at the seams. “Thanks WineRack”, shouts one reader
Whilst suprisingly unflattering in the flesh, under a shirt or wife beater, you’ll be guaranteed to look the goods.
Now, considering how narky airlines are about the 100ml rule, and about packages strapped to chests and stomach, I will give £100 to the first person who can prove they wore one, filled with the liquid of their choice, through customs. Just for trying, your more then welcome to reap the benefits of your crime on the plane ride over.
Tags: beer
