I got thinking the other day about the art of urinating whilst standing up, an art mostly restricted to the male. I should note here that this practise isn’t limited just to the male, as I’ve seen/heard/found out over a period of time, but without a device such as the sweetpee, or ShePee women don’t usually perfect this ability.

It was several drunken stumbling trips to the loo/toilet/potty that got me thinking, you see in my annebriated state I’m not exactly a sharp shooter when it comes to hitting the well, and I’ve quite commonly left trails on the edge for the villagers to see. Not something I’m proud off, but I’m pretty sure it happens to everyone, including the guys in those fake mastecard ad’s….. Priceless… To some, maybe.

When I was a little kipper my Mum had the great idea (from a magazine, or friend I’m sure) to put a table tennis ball (read, ping pong ball) in the potty as a target for us males to improve our sniping abilities from as young an age as we were responsible enough to stand over the porcelain goddess. From what I remember this improved my otherwise sloppy shooting no end, and moulded me into the model citizen image that I attempt to uphold on a daily basis.

Where’s my Ping pong ball now?

BANG…. It hit me! There’s a reason why guys toilets are so incredibly feral, and that’s because when we slip into our drunkenn medicated happiness we revert to the urination abillities of a 10 year old, and in my case, as we’ve discussed is nothing to write home about. I’m proposing a target for men of all ages, an overhead projector installed above the cubical projectingthe chosen taget would have to be the most obvious choice.. Purely because I said so.. Can you just imagine it:

I can: “That punk in his Mercedes definitely gave me the look up and down of superiority, I’ll go to the toilet to quash my insecurities… <Beep>, Mercedes, you make the perfect target”, or:

Note: This is only a dramatisation, she’s not really in the toilet is she?? Great target though.

Course, it would only make sense that the Germans (I believe, if not, one of them new fangled tech perverted Nordic countries at least) could come up with a such a genius idea as to allow stand-up-urinators (not the comedians), to fulfill their every man whore fantasies. Go Germans, or there abouts:

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 18th, 2007 at 2:20 am and is filed under Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.