Archive for August, 2007



Toilet Humour

Saturday, August 18th, 2007

Mr Hanky

I got thinking the other day about the art of urinating whilst standing up, an art mostly restricted to the male. I should note here that this practise isn’t limited just to the male, as I’ve seen/heard/found out over a period of time, but without a device such as the sweetpee, or ShePee women don’t usually perfect this ability.

It was several drunken stumbling trips to the loo/toilet/potty that got me thinking, you see in my annebriated state I’m not exactly a sharp shooter when it comes to hitting the well, and I’ve quite commonly left trails on the edge for the villagers to see. Not something I’m proud off, but I’m pretty sure it happens to everyone, including the guys in those fake mastecard ad’s….. Priceless… To some, maybe.

Ping Pong

When I was a little kipper my Mum had the great idea (from a magazine, or friend I’m sure) to put a table tennis ball (read, ping pong ball) in the potty as a target for us males to improve our sniping abilities from as young an age as we were responsible enough to stand over the porcelain goddess. From what I remember this improved my otherwise sloppy shooting no end, and moulded me into the model citizen image that I attempt to uphold on a daily basis.

Where’s my Ping pong ball now?

BANG…. It hit me! There’s a reason why guys toilets are so incredibly feral, and that’s because when we slip into our drunkenn medicated happiness we revert to the urination abillities of a 10 year old, and in my case, as we’ve discussed is nothing to write home about. I’m proposing a target for men of all ages, an overhead projector installed above the cubical projectingthe chosen taget would have to be the most obvious choice.. Purely because I said so.. Can you just imagine it:

I can: “That punk in his Mercedes definitely gave me the look up and down of superiority, I’ll go to the toilet to quash my insecurities… <Beep>, Mercedes, you make the perfect target”, or:

Note: This is only a dramatisation, she’s not really in the toilet is she?? Great target though.

Course, it would only make sense that the Germans (I believe, if not, one of them new fangled tech perverted Nordic countries at least) could come up with a such a genius idea as to allow stand-up-urinators (not the comedians), to fulfill their every man whore fantasies. Go Germans, or there abouts:

Targets OMG

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Trance ‘n Stuff

Saturday, August 18th, 2007

I did it.. After they’ve been out for years, I got an MP3 player, an iPod Nano to be exact. Flash back about 1998 when everyone was running around with Discmans, and I’d be one cool guy….

But alas, its not 1998 anymore, everyones got an iPod or MP3 player of some variety, wherther that be an iPod, Zune, some snazzy PDA or a run of the mill (but slightly above base-line) mobile phone. After all these years of sporadically (See the movie clueless, though I’ve been told this is actually a real world), managing to actually listen to Armin Van Buuren’s weekly radio show h on a weekly basis I finally find myself chucked in to the snake pit as regards to listening to music on a daily basis. And a lot of it, at that.

After being a sideliner for a number of months, occasionally listening to a week’s show, whenever it suited me, I’ve progressed straight to listening to each show multiple times in a week, plus have more than enough time to finally experiment with some other eargasm’s such as:

  • A couple of different Drum ‘n Bass and Breaks Podcasts
  • Blank and Jones’s weekely radio mix, titled The Mix oddly enough
  • Marcus Shulz – Global DJ Broadcast another weekly mix
  • Above and Beyonds Trance Around the World
  • Intuition with Jonas Stuer
  • Corsten’s Countdown, from Ferry Corsten
  • Subculture, featuring John O’Callagahn
  • Vonyc Sessions by Paul Van Dyk
  • Perfecto Tour, Paul Oakenfold (Yes, that’s the same Oakenfold which I assumed had disappeared into obscurity years ago! He’s back, and just about as good as I remember him!)
  • and some other stuff by Marco V, and others.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWvgchc1KHs]

As you can probably guess.. That’s some serious amount of time wasted to listen too, In fact I’ve probably managed 25-30 hours of music this week alone, which is a previous improvement on my previous attempts at listening to a fair chunk of music on a weekly basis since I finished Uni and started working full time… Course, I’ve got almost 2 hours of train time, and eight hours of work time in which to listen to my heart’s content, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2rUrwFXVYk]

I’m finding myself running out of orgasmic, work wasting, fit inducing music, which is quite obvioulsy a smal issue..

Someone should suggest something which is Shanpod worthy, and by worthy, I mean something decent that I’m not going to be feel like I’m wasting my time on. Big ask?? So be it.

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Shannon’s adventures down Cognac road

Monday, August 6th, 2007

For a few years now, I’ve been a strictly red wine and beer man… And port… And the occasional spirit and shot of tequila… And… Well, anyway mostly beer and red wine. But my recent appreciation for french culture (not really), and my interest in the Gateway drug theory has lead me to try a few different types of Cognac. Like a 15 year olds adventures with the cheapest possible spirits, like Jim Beam White or McCoys, I thought I’d try something cheap-ish, so I picked Martell VS before I move on (oh, there’s the gateway, what will I try next, cocaine?) to some Hennesey XO, like the similar road from JB White, through Black, JD’s, Wild Turkey, Johnnie Walker Black, Glen Fiddich (bit of a jump there) to some tasty Glen Morangie.

I like it, its tasty. now all I need is some filthy cubans and some bitches.. Oh yea.

Pissed on Cognac

Note: Not me, but someone Cognac happy all the same

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Fun Park, Thorpe Park, What what?

Sunday, August 5th, 2007

I haven’t been to a terrible amount of theme parks, but the ones I have been to have usually had some fantastical, creative name like Dreamworld, Seaworld, Movieworld, Disleyland, Universal Studis and (drum roll) Adventure World. So I didn’t have high expectations of Thorpe Park, in the slightest, but I was pleasantly surprised. For a park with such a boring sounding name, it had its fair share of good roller coasters and the like.The best thing was probably the 0-80mph in 2.3s, 205 foot high twisting climb then drop called the Stealth. It’s the kind of ride, that gives you that horrible gut-wrenching feeling when for a split second you’re kind of hanging upside down with the feeling that basically nothing is holding you in the air, apart from the track, and your harness, yet the whole time its just fun as hell. But words can’t describe it, pictures and video can though:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n94K6JbSB7M]

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