Archive for July, 2007



Tax time, Loans/Credit Card repayed, almost….

Monday, July 30th, 2007

I know from talking to other people with business’s, investments and those who work for themselves that tax time is usually a taboo, and should never be mentioned as it leads to much despair and blood shed. Fortunately for me, my tax return consists of some scribbles and signatures here and there and about as much information as all the notes I wrote in 5 years of university, so enough to fit on the back of my hand…. And thats with padding.

But I filled out my tax on Thursday last week, only to check my bank account today and to find the nice sum of $3,700AUD (so about £0.57 or enough to buy a can of coke, sort of). On the good side, that Aussie Credit card that’s been haunting me since I left is now paid off in full, as is most of the remainder of my car loan.

Aye, the shackles are finally loosening.

Cultural Learning and the Pizza Cat Ratio

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Before I start, I have boring stuff to get out of the way, firstly with a confession.  I’m not religious, nor am I one who’d normally confess to anything, but since watching the Godfather Trilogy over the past month (finally, it happened, no I hadn’t ever seen it, this could be a blog post in itself) I’ll give it a go.  Now I can remember on at least about a 100 occasions in my child hood I’d require money for candy or coke or something, I was a kid, a bag of sugar and a blue spoon would have done fine.  Anyway to accomplish this we’d turn the house upside down for loose change, and quite often rifle through mum’s purse to see if she had any left over, which was often the case.  Bam, huge confession, I’m going to hell..

This got me thinking, I can remember thinking from as long  as I was old enough to register what a card was that the Australian Medicare Card was the ugliest, shittest excuse for a card.  I know it doesn’t have to be pretty, its a card with a number on it, and thats the only purpose it serves, but there’s a reason why people like Gold Visa’s, and Black Amex’s with funky designs on them and apart from the money, I think its bragging rights, for having a sick looking card. I will take a Black Amex, it will be a bad thing (starts at $150,000 USD I think), so I wont.


An Australian Medicare Card (That’s me, John Citizen!)

Now, apart from some wonderful examples that you see in 80′s movies like those original Blue and Gold Visa’s, or an 80′s National Bank Debit Card (White Strip, Red Strip and a big red star, hooray), I was sure this was one of the ugliest specimans of the modern plastic mould.  I was wrong:

An English National Insurance Card (with my new name, Hard Carver)

Yes, this monstrosity turned up in my letter box last Thursday, its the English Version of the Australian Medicare Number, except its more like an American Social Security Number, as it handles tax, money, healthcare, the lot.  I get it, the card is probably in its current state as a memento.  A reminder of the good old days when they could employ a nine year old with two colour crayons to draw the cars and how much harder things work back then.

Blergh..  Yes, I just took up all that space whinging about something that myself and 60 million K-heads (or Kingdomites) have in their wallets.  Sue me.


Saturday, on the bus

On to better things.  On Saturday we caught the bus to Richmond.  I love that place, everything about it, every shop imaginable, swanky restaurants and bars on the river front and just a niceish +Subiaco feel to it, like Mayfair without the buildings, or something like that.


Colourful Hanging Baskets, everywhere!

We had a few beers in the afternoon at a couple of pubs and then stopped in at All Bar One which i just like the Queens Hotel, with a massive list of beers and funky modern bar.


Drink Schneider Weisse….. its so good it dis-obeys the laws of gravity

Ever since we arrived 3 months ago, I’ve been hunting around for that perfect pizza and have thus far been unable to find it.  We’ve been close a few times, the chain called Pizza Express does a fairly top notch one.  But it was a little place accross the road from All Bar One which we found the money shot.  It was called Pizza Allo Roma and we found it purely out of co-incidence.  The pizza was fantastic, tasty and awesome with the extra chilli, couldn’t have asked for it better.  But the best thing was the way it came, long, on a board and it was half a yard long.  I wanted to get the Yard long one just to say we did it, but that was too much, even for me.

I couldn’t think of a good way to share the experience with everyone, as the saying goes, “Photos, or it didn’t happen”.  Well, it did happen, but I forgot to take a piccy, so I’ll have to unleash the pizza – cat ratio graph:


The Graph

I realise I’ve made a mistake with my scale, as surely a normal domestic cat wouldn’t grow to a yard (most of  ametre) long, such as the one featured in my accurate graph with ruler installed.   Which is better for my story, as I”m assuming that a yard of pizza now equals 2 cats, which means by eating half a yard with Cath, we consumed a cat.  But I won’t tell her that.. It was a cute kitty too, try searching for yard of cat in google sometimes, the results aren’t quite what you expect.  Yes, I cheated.   I love cats, and I don’t endorse eating them.

After the delicious pizza we got on the train and ventured to Putney for another messy night at Slugge…. should I say Zulu’s.  It was apparently a Southern Hemisphere reunion party, cept the crowd was about the same as I remember from last time.. South Africans everywhere, I didn’t see any Brazlilians, or New Zealanders, though I could have checked a little more thoroughly under the seats or something.  Fun was had by all though.  Some more than others, others probably being me in the end.  I stupidly stood at the bar for probably two hours in an effort to get beer and the bar stuff were just effin’ useless!  But that happens, we keep on living.



Zulu’s

I think we’re done there now, too many memories of messy nights at Steve’s, the Scotto or any other pub filled with youngish Aussies (or South Africans in this case, about the same though, they can certainly drink like or better than us).

Ecstacy straight to the eardrum

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

Finally! I’ve been waiting a week and they’re finally here, my Sennheiser CX300′s finally came in the post, I thought they’d gotten lost or something. I burst through the front door and tried them out the first chance I got and I have to say they’re like music to my ears, (excuse the pun!!). It’s true, I haven’t exactly blessed myself with fantastic audio gear over the last few years (or ever, for that matter), but these make my previous audio experience sound like a cone made out of a 1.2m square peice of paper which had been inserted rather uncarelessly into my ear. Picking up stray alien broadcasts I was, I think.

Sennheiser CX300′s

I’m not sure what I was expecting really, these have certain advantages over my previous head phones:

  • A set of 99p onces that I got from the pound shop last week for work that broke within two days (duh)..
  • My Logitech Gaming Headphones with the ugly mic sticking out the side. These are actually really good, but they don’t have particularly good sounding bass at all (expected), and they’re just too damn bulky and ugly to take out, let alone to take to work
  • Some other non-descript pairs of bud phones and a pair of over the top Sony’s.

I think being an audiophile might be a bit liek being a championship wine taster, or whiskey sampler. I bet the 1976 Penfolds Grange is a fantastic drop, and I’d be honoured to be able to try it but even through my vast wine tasting and drinking experience, I couldn’t necessecerily say Why it’s fantastic, or what distinct flavours make it taste so good, or even why its coloured in a certain hue.

But I can say, I’ve listened to a few things so far, both Damien Rice albums ‘O’ and ’9′, two of Armin Van Buuren’s A State Of Trance, some Concord Dawn and some Simon and Garfunkel. So a fairly wide range of music. They’ve got a much clearer sound than any other headphones I’ve listened to as well as some nice bass which can be attributed to their in-ear style canalphone design (I believe).

Best of all, they were only 17.99 pounds, down from over $80USD when they came out a year or so ago. I think I got a relatively good deal as I found them at a couple of shops going for over 30 pounds. Swoit.

I recommend these to anyone who hasn’t doesn’t know any better (like myself) and is looking for new audio goodness.

Update (23/07/2007): Musitasm spasm Gasm!! Outstanding, this sound card on my work PC must be s*&tloads better than the standard one on my laptop as they sound even better here! Swoit!

Flash, Loser! Flash, Loser!

Friday, July 20th, 2007

We have a new saying in my office now, it’s “Flash Loser!”, or for extra effect, “Flash Loser! Flash Loser!” .

It came about when one of the guys at work spent about a week crafting up a rather nifty looking Flash movie (Homestar Runner’s Strong Bad or Unit9), on his awesome new Mac (definitely one of the biggest screens I’ve ever seen 24″ goodness…) and sent it to me so I could open it and write some dodgy action script. I’ve never dealt with Flash, or Action Script before, and I’d like not to have to do it again, but I managed to knock up the required fix and published it to the web.

As you might know, working on a Mac with Macintosh specific fonts and then changing over to a Windows machine (without) those phones usually plays havoc with the text and screen layout, indeed it did in this situtation. After a while spent fixing the layout to make it look a bit more respectable I over heard said Mac user (we’ll call him Macman) telling my boss why the process was taking so long. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, several times.

Boss: Why isn’t that splash page done yet?

Macman: Uh, font layouts, Mac -> Windows funniness, blargh..klasdfhasdf

Boss: I don’t get it, what’s the actual issue?

Macman: Well, It was originally made and laid out nicely on a Mac with Mac specific fonts and then when transferred over to Windows it doesn’t look at all right anymore.

Macman: In fact my Mac is shouting, “Flash Loser”, and Shannons Windows machine is shouting “Flash Loser” back.

Boss: Flash… Loser?

Macman: Yes, “Flash Loser! Flash Loser!”

Now, I could be wrong, but seeing an otherwise mature conversation between two grown men degrade to the point where two computers are shouting at each other (picture my workmate a hand on each side of his head waving furiously whilst shouting “Flash Loser” and you might understand exactly why it is that I’m laughing. In fact, I’m still laughing…

Anyway, this has now become the catch phrase in the office now, over the past couple of days, at least over in my corner (wid’ my krew…), and I’m loving it.

Flash… Loser!

Ecstacy straight to the eardrum

Friday, July 20th, 2007

Finally! I’ve been waiting a week and they’re finally here, my Sennheiser CX300′s finally came in the post, I thought they’d gotten lost or something. I burst through the front door and tried them out the first chance I got and I have to say they’re like music to my ears, (excuse the pun!!). It’s true, I haven’t exactly blessed myself with fantastic audio gear over the last few years (or ever, for that matter), but these make my previous audio experience sound like a cone made out of a 1.2m square peice of paper which had been inserted rather uncarelessly into my ear. Picking up stray alien broadcasts I was, I think.

Sennheiser CX300′s

I’m not sure what I was expecting really, these have certain advantages over my previous head phones:

  • A set of 99p onces that I got from the pound shop last week for work that broke within two days (duh)..
  • My Logitech Gaming Headphones with the ugly mic sticking out the side. These are actually really good, but they don’t have particularly good sounding bass at all (expected), and they’re just too damn bulky and ugly to take out, let alone to take to work
  • Some other non-descript pairs of bud phones and a pair of over the top Sony’s.

I think being an audiophile might be a bit liek being a championship wine taster, or whiskey sampler. I bet the 1976 Penfolds Grange is a fantastic drop, and I’d be honoured to be able to try it but even through my vast wine tasting and drinking experience, I couldn’t necessecerily say Why it’s fantastic, or what distinct flavours make it taste so good, or even why its coloured in a certain hue.

But I can say, I’ve listened to a few things so far, both Damien Rice albums ‘O’ and ’9′, two of Armin Van Buuren’s A State Of Trance, some Concord Dawn and some Simon and Garfunkel. So a fairly wide range of music. They’ve got a much clearer sound than any other headphones I’ve listened to as well as some nice bass which can be attributed to their in-ear style canalphone design (I believe).

Best of all, they were only 17.99 pounds, down from over $80USD when they came out a year or so ago. I think I got a relatively good deal as I found them at a couple of shops going for over 30 pounds. Swoit.

I recommend these to anyone who hasn’t doesn’t know any better (like myself) and is looking for new audio goodness.

Higher state of Sleeplessness

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

It’s 3:30AM here.  I woke up at 1:30 with a nasty blocked nose and cough which has been looming for days.  However, I’m not usually a person that wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, so I’m trying to find a way to force myself to drift off.  Anyway, that hasn’t worked for the last two hours of rolling around in bed and coughing, not even close.

When I woke up before, I came out of this dream with two words in my head, and it was a like an epiphany.  Until a second ago when I looked both words up in the dictionary I thought I was a genius.  I’d invented a word! Only I hadn’t, and upon further reflection I realised I’d already heard of both.  Most disappointing.  Anyway, the words are perpetuity, which is fitting for this post, as I just can’t seem to get tonight to end.  And perpertuation because that’s what someone or something is causing me, tonight.

It’s an interesting feeling, for a second feeling so smart as to have invented something, only to be shot down seconds later by myself.  I wonder how many times Leonardo Da Vinci re-discovered his flyin machine?

That’s not fair though, he was a genius, I’m sitting here at….. 4 in the morning drinking weak tea..

Gross Stupidity to the point of insanity.

Monday, July 16th, 2007

You know those days when you get up, and nothing goes right? When you scrape your brand new set of wheels on a kerb, then almost hit 3 people on the way home? Or when you say something stupid to someone, only to repeat the process over and over again in an ever more stupid way? We kind of had one of those days on Sunday.

The story was, we wanted to get to Windsor to see some castle (or something):

So to get there, I looked up how to get there from our house on the London Transport website. The instructions were straight forward enough: Take the 222 bus from the Treaty Centre to Park Road/Winsdor Lane (approx Travel Time 45mins). Of course, we wanted Park Road in Windsor, not the Corner of Park Road/Windsor Lane so the old issue of PEBKAC occured once again, though I’m blaming the website anyway.

Of course, I didn’t bother to check up on this until we were on the bus and halfway “there”, but lucky enough we were still headed in the right direction, in a roundabout sort of way. A bit of research at the end of the bus line in the local bookshop and we realised we could get there from the train station we saw about 10 minutes before hand. Then we paid for another bus fare back to the train station (+£1/ea), and a day return from Drayton -> Slough -> Windsor and back (+£3.90/ea):

A train at Windsor and Eton Central Station - Windsor

Now it wasn’t until we got to Windsor/Eton that I came to the realisation that there was a train on the other side of the castle going the other direction, that goes to certain train station, which is rather close to our house, all of about 500m away! Not only that, a return fare from Hounslow to Windsor is only £5.60/ea. So for the pricey sum of £24.80 for the two of us, we’d taken the longest possible way to get there (took us about 2 and a half hours in the end), only to come home at the end of the day on a train ride that took all of 20 minutes. Lovely, and then I got sick, again. (Nothing to do with the day, of course).

To continue our day of supreme stupidness we were touring Windsor castle which houses The Queen and William and Harry at various times of the year (at least thats what the brochure said), we were up the top of the castle and joined the queue which we believed to be the way to the Royal State Apartments. There were two queues, the one we were in, and the one leading to the dolls house (or so we thought). The latter ran freely and had no waiting time.

Of course it wasn’t until we got right to the end of the line that we realised we’d been standing in the wrong line the whole time, and as Cath had already seen the Doll’s house (Some Royal Minature Gallery made for Queen Mary), we jumped out of the line and continued to the state apartments. Which then had me thinking that stupidly I should have just waited the extra five minutes to see what we’d waited in the line for all this time, but stupidness was in the air!

Least the food was good! Chilli Cheese:

Sexy? No.

Monday, July 16th, 2007

There’s almost nothing less sexy than a grown man (uhh…) sitting round with hardly anything on, whilst drunk and playing computer games, usually… But this is me, so I’ll post it anyway:

 


Doh!

 


Winner! Shite yea.

 

A weird one for you all!

 


Mouth blown? It’s obviously a glassmakers term, I hope!

The Weekend (part 2)

Friday, July 13th, 2007

The plan this weekend was to get bikes so we could go for a ride, and explore a bit of the areas that aren’t directly on train/tube line, but after realising just how little money we had left (my agency has been stuffing me around for almost 3 weeks now, no pay = overdue rent and very broke and unhappy Shannon), we had to put it off, which was a huge shame, but that’s life I guess.

So we did a lot of walking to try and make up for it, and it gave us a chance to see some area’s we’d been wanting to visit since arriving. Firstly we visited Isleworth, which is right accross the river from Richmond, which is just like Subiaco, and then on Sunday ventured back the other way to Hounslow West (basically Staines, where the East Staines Massif frequent, I’d imagine). It always amazes me the remarkable difference that a 20 minute walk can make. It happens in every city I guess, but for the Perthites this is about the equivalent of going from Subiaco (Isleworth), through North Perth (Hounslow), to Armadale (Houslow West –>> East Staines..) all in the matter of about a 20 minute walk.

We found this awesome pub on the river in Isleworth called the London Apprentice. It’s situated right on a big bend of the Thames and you get this big patch of empty sky where you can watch the planes bank up as they’re headed to Heathrow, 4, 5, 6+ at a time. And best of all, they’re a little further up than they are at our place so they’re not deafening. Call me a plane geek, but I found it amazing to sit and watch them all flying in circles, and then coming in a big line, one by one.

On Sunday we finally went the the pub which is closest to our house (one of many Yates pubs). For some reason, we’ve been to all the pubs all around the area, some even a few km’s down the road, yet we somehow missed this little gem every time. As I sit right now I can almost see the lights of the pub out of our living room window. It’s an awesome pub though, niceish outdoor area, modern inside whilst still keeping that English pub feel and horrendously cheap food/beer.

Where else can you go and get a full cooked English Breakfast and cup of tea for £2.49? That’s cheaper than McDonalds (again with the Mcd’s price references), and you get about 3 times as much food! Most of the afternoon was spent drinking my old favourite, Kronenburg 1664 (Awesome beer, I could drink it all day) and Guiness. But the time approached and I thought I’d try something new:

What is this stuff?!

I vowed never to drink this stuff again, after drinking it a few tims back in Australia where it’s rightly earned the title of Cat’s Piss. It’s an icon here, that ugly blue label is everywhere. It was actually really nice. I’ve figured it out though, its not actually Fosters, like we’d get in Australia, its relabelled Carlton Draught. That same sweet taste that I remember.

Very Suss, I look forward to wetting my whistle though.

Catholic/Pope jokes aside, I had to try this when I saw it in the store, I’ll have to find some history on this mysterious grog though, like who this bishop was..
Could I possibly write about alcohol anymore then this? Always. Oh one moe thing:

“Don’t give a cop the Bishop’s finger, you will be prosecuted”

(19/07/2007) Note: The bishops finger has now been tasted, it’s decent, cept I don’t I’d buy it again, cept maybe for a laugh.

The Weekend (part 1)

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

Now when I was talking last time not doing things that I didn’t pariticularly feel like doing in my previous post, I was leading up to something….

Cath had a work do on Friday night, about a block away from the train station near where I work. It was all the accounts/payroll people at a Lebanese restaurant called Isis. We’d both been looking forward to it all week, and it seemed like a good chance to try some good food, meet some nice people and for me to meet some of the people from her work (kinda like killing three birds with the one stone, up you idioms, I did you one better).

Anyway, it turned out to be an exceptionally long day, which just seemed to drag on forever, and the prospect of finishing work at 5PM and having to wait around until 7:30 in Mayfair was a little much. I couldn’t very well sit in the office for two hours, I’d drive myself mad after being in that dry air, my eyes hurt enough already. So, I thought I’d kill sometime by going for a big long walk, and went from Green Park to Picadilly Circus all the way back up Oxford St to Hyde Park Corner and back again, which really isn’t all that much (5km at most?), but took forever in Friday night traffic anyway.

 Picadilly Circus, and before I went I’d assumed there’d be elephants.. (Doh!)

This probably wasn’t the best idea, as by the time I finally got back to the restaurant at 7:25pm, I was sweating like nothing else, suffering from major crotch rash (Don’t ask…. tight, unairing jeans, you get the picture) and my eyes were so dry and painful I could hardly focus on the street sign in front of me. I was literally seconds away from saying “Screw it!” and going home and getting some rest, but this little voice of 2007 wisdom kept interrupting, and what do you know?? It was right again…

Almost exactly what I looked like when I got back to the station, uncanny resemblance…

Isis was a really nice little restaurant, very authentic feeling to it, middle eastern archtecture, brass stairs, tapestrys and the like, and the food was tasty. Expensive, (I would have got more food in a £3.49 large McDonalds Meal than I got for my £26 dinner. But the company was great, and in the end the alcohol was free (I’d never tried Lebanese wine before, mmm… Dry & Strong).

In between the dinner and desert they bought out the “entertainment”. Now I use the word entertainment in a weird way, that’s because of two things. You expect some form of belly dancing at these sort of places, that’s fine. That’s entertainment, in a way. This was strip club entertainment though. Well, not really, but it was the closest thing to it. Hardly wholesome family fun, anyway.

 Kudos to the guy who got up, what a champ!

You know when you turn on SBS at 3 in the morning (I know why I turned on SBS at 3 in the morning anyway!), and you feel all let down when the Russian pseudo-smut your watching turns out to be poorly sub-titled soft porn? Well this is the exact opposite, there was no belly dancing…. “They” just bounced around for ten minutes.

Who am I to whinge, I’m not Lebanese.